Motivation!! We all need some!

 

Photo Credit: dreamstime.com

Motivation... We all need it.  Kids need it and need it in the right manner!  When we offer rewards for good behavior this is sending mixed signals to our children.  Shouldn't they want to work hard and get good grades to help them with their future?  When we offer a monetary reward to motivate our children to get grades it is detrimental.  They will soon expect that they will receive something for just doing a good job or doing what is expected for them.  They need to take pride in hard work and perseverance. This will not occur if they are given a incentive or a reward at the end of it.

I make sure to let my girls (age 13 and 9) know that all I ask of them to try their hardest. That is all I ask. They need to have a content heart knowing they did the best job they could in all things, school, work, chores. They feel guilty when they know they did not do their best or didn't try their hardest. I do not add incentives of any sort. They need to do a great job academically so they can get into a good college and maybe even earn a scholarship with their hard work and good grades. 

Motivation happens without a reward at the end.  We work out so our bodies are healthier and we feel better in them. We only have one body, we need to take care of it or we will have no where to live.  When we work out positive happy endorphins are released and it allows us to think, maybe I will do this again tomorrow.  This is same in doing a good job in all aspects of our life. There should not be a reward at the end of the hard work.  We should be motivated to do well and feel accomplished. 

Threats will not be a motivator. If anything it will turn a child off and they will abstain from doing anything at all. Threats also do not motivate adults. Another self defeating threat is "if you do this I will give you that." This is bartering and it does not work either. 

In order to keep motivation high, you need to set realistic expectations of yourself and your children. Do not set unrealistic goals and expectations. Kids will make mistakes, this is how they learn. We are where we are because of the mistakes we made.  

Just love your child, say positive uplifting things to motivate and encourage them. Do not put them down,ever.  This is damaging to their character and their soul. Love is the all time best motivator.  

Parenting, the Art of Understanding!

 

Photo Credit: BYU Idaho FAML120

Family is so important. I believe that Families can be together forever through the Atonement of Christ. I have two children and I want to be the best parent I can be. I want to gain knowledge so I can put my best foot forward. Here is a quote that struck me and I thought I would share it. 

Photo Credit: BYU Idaho FAML120

We need to love our children. We need to have them fear the Lord and the consequences they will face in Heaven. They need not fear us. I think we need to love them and not  correct them in our angry state. We need to walk away and wait 10 minutes, walk away do not yell, and address the situation that upset us after the 10 minutes is up. Then we talk about the issue rational and not in the state of anger.   

This is a great book to read if you want 10 easy principles to becoming a better parent. Laurence Steinberg, PH.D. basically says that our children learn from our behavior.  If we have anger issues and outbursts, so will our children. We are a mirror and they are looking through and up to us. We need to make sure we act accordingly or act how we want them to act. 

Photo Credit: Being Mindful Matters

Children's brains grow every day. Adults brains can grow as well, but they do not grow as rapidly as children's do.  

"Myelination refers to an increase in the fatty sheath surrounding neuronal processes and fibers that increases the efficiency of electrical transmission. This process rapidly occurs from age 3 weeks to 1 year.  It occurs for at least another 10 to 12 years after birth."

 This allows children to map language and learn at an increasingly fast rate. Their brains absorb so much and does for many years as they are maturing.  We want them to rapidly learn positive behavior from us.  We want them to mirror our positive good behavior. Let's allow them to have the best foot forward. 

Care of Self! What Does This Mean? Why is This so Important?

What is Self Care?

Photo credit: Picmonkey

Photo credit: Deposit photos

Many people think that taking care of yourself is being pampered in a spa.  At a spa you are brushed, waxed, polished and primped.  They pluck eyebrows, polish toe nails and fingernails too.  While all of these things are important and sometimes nice to do, polishing the outside is not as important as polishing the inside.  

We need to fuel and care for our brains. When we read to enlighten our brains. It not only allows us to expand our vocabulary, it allows us to polish our knowledge and skills.  We need to read about how we can discipline our children's lives and our lives. We need to read about how to have a "can do" and positive mindset.  We need to read about being at peace in our hearts and minds.  We need to polish and care for our insides and brains more than we do our outsides. We need to learn so we can be self reliant.

                                                            Photo credit: Permanent Culture Now

 This is a quote that I love and I wanted to share:

Elder Marion G. Romney said, "Without self-reliance one cannot exercise these innate desires to serve. How can we give if there is nothing there? Food for the hungry cannot come from empty shelves. Money to assist the needy cannot come from an empty purse. Support and understanding cannot come from the emotionally starved. Teaching cannot come from the unlearned. And most important of all, spiritual guidance cannot come from the spiritually weak."

President Marion G. Romney "The Celestial Nature of Self-Reliance" (Links to an external site.) October 1982 General Conference

We can learn to grow our own gardens.  When we plant and grow our own gardens we do not have to rely on the store to bring us our nourishment. Some homesteaders breed meat rabbits and use those to live off of. They have rabbits that breed, then they have babies, they feed and nourish them and then they use them for their nourishment. When we grow our own food, we do not need to depend on box stores for our nourishment.

Photo credit: Orange County Credit Insurance

How can we save money and live with in our means? There is a saying that you cannot make pennies and spend dimes. This is so very true.  We need to live within our means. We do not need top dollar clothes or cars. It is smart to purchase vehicles that are 3 years old.  For example, we are in 2020 so I would purchase a car that was a 2017 if I was in a market for a car. I would not purchase a new car off a lot. They depreciate in value the minute you drive off the lot. 

Getting clothing from consignment stores, hand me downs or thrift shops cuts the clothing bill in half.  Many times you can find new clothes at thrift shops if they are in partnership with a big box store and a box or boxes where destroyed.  they then sell these to the thrift shop or consignment shops and you get new tagged clothes for 75 percent off. 

I receive many hand me downs, and in turn, I then turn those around and give them to others. I do not hold a garage sale to sell them for profit, as I did not purchase them.  I give them to others who may benefit from them.